Pacific Nights

June 04, 2003

On Lighting Fires

Filed under: — 7.36 pm

They don’t let us light fires anymore
The cold predictable green of the neverending bills
replaces the creamy, dreary brown of coffee
replaces the plastic smile and the steady click-click-click of the ticket machine
The faux-friendliness “Thank you, enjoy your show”
The faces crowd by
Dreary as the walls of the office buildings where they reside
Crystal dreams shattered
Replaced by plastic, unbreakable smiles
Thank you, enjoy your show
Impersonal
Refuge from solitude taken in crowded places
Where harried, disillousioned women
Serve a million men
Meals that taste just like home
Taken elsewhere
There’s no place like home
Not anymore anyway
Plastic covered couches
Pretty things that break if you breathe on them
They imitate the sun, they imitate the sea
Yet somewhere between the mountain of monotony and the sea of imitation
Comes the sparkle of color
of wit
of genuineness
that is only made brighter by its insipid surroundings
A marriage of extremes
A clash that births a phoenix

Reading Again

Filed under: — 2.36 pm

Poison of the hour: Sophie’s Choice

It’s been a long time since I’ve been stirred by that melancholy laziness that consumed me for so many years. I’ve been transformed into a rather disorganized dreamer, tracing lines in the tree bark of my imagination. Nineteen and consumed by the words “memory” and “ancient” and “memories of ancient ones” and “ancient memories”…

Sitting, reading, I’m consumed with that helpless feeling of bitersweet, pleasurful restlessness that, for me, has always accompanied that juxtaposition of reality with the fantasy world : That odd incongruity that is inherant in language, especially good language, expressed well.

The story washes on and I find myself bound to the protagonist: Intelligent, cocksure, frustrated. Perusing the contents of a medecine cabinet, staring at the ceiling, sitting in the throes of writer’s block, communing with the spirits of his literary idols, imagining fame and fortune and all that goes with it, living vicariously through the stories he reads and those he writes. Stirred to an almost erotic degree by a well tuned sentence, the cadence of a phrase eliciting emotions that he did not know existed. Dreaming again.

Always dreaming.

Plotting and planning and doing, never disappointed, but always just short of where we want to be.

The old lady across the way looks out her window for just a second, and then disappears back into her little world. Isolated, like so many others, by a wall of venetian blinds as impenetrable as many a more imposing barricade. I wonder, what is it like in there? Is she too, after so many decades, just short of where she wants to be? Does she keep on trying?
Will I?

Perhaps, but for now I will read again. Delving back into the pre-packaged and ready-made story. The one story of the three, that already has an ending. An ending that I can critique and think about and enjoy…

Before I write my own…

June 02, 2003

Cuz it feels so empty without me….

Filed under: — 8.08 pm

Ok.. I’m back!
Where have I been, you ask? I had an excuse up until a few weeks ago… Finals… argh… but finally, they are completed… *(Pun intended thank you very much…)

I’m working quite a bit now, and that means that I have money.. which means that I am able to go out and actually doing things… so I have more to talk about but less motivation to do so—Odd little Catch 22 that, the amount of things to do varies inversely with the desire to write about them…

Nevena is off to Minneapolis, so that means I am without my most trusted partner in crime for at least another few months. I’m pretty happy for her though, she’s got an internship with a marketing company whose name slips my mind at the moment.

Tonight I’m going out with Mike and his brother…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANTHONY!

So much more to say… I’ll call it quits for now and catch up later…
(Famous last words)

May 03, 2003

And here’s another…

Filed under: — 12.32 am

Finals Week

Look… If you had one shot…
One oppurtunity…
To prove everything you ever learned…
In one moment…
Would you capture it? or just let it slip…
Yo..
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy,
There’s smudges on his paper already, notes from Eddy
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs
but he keeps on forgetting what to write down
The clock ticks oh so loud,
His paper’s white but the words won’t come out
He’s choking, how, Writer’s block takin over now, the clock’s run out, time’s up over
BLAST!

Snap back to reality,
OH! There goes hour three,
Oh there goes chance for “B”
Choked! he’s so mad but he won’t give up that easy
Can’t have forgotten!
He knows when he goes back to his mom at home
It will come back to his head again..
Testing’s a lottery, I better go capture that moment and hope it won’t pass me…

Don’t you hate it when you… Lose your thoughts in the classroom, the moment you want them is when they choose to go,
OH! You’ve only got ONE SHOT…
and you’ve missed your chance to glow..
this oppurtunity comes once a semester..

Thank You…Thank you very much!

Filed under: — 12.07 am

Here’s Part II of my “Procrastination Central” writing series…
It’s to the tune of Dido’s “Thank You” and based on my math teacher… (THe Hey hey hey hey hey… guy)

Thank you
This class is old, I’m wondering why I, got out of bed at all,
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can’t think at all
and even if I could I would be bored to death
but that clock up on the wall
It reminds me that it’s 8am as asleep I start to fall….

Studied too much last night, got sums to do
My head just feels in pain
I’m late for school and there’ll be hell to pay
NO PARKING SPACE AGAIN
And I forgot the disk my paper’s on
and I might not last the day

and then you called on me and it’s 8am
YES it’s that bad

And I
want to thank you
For making this the worst day of my life….

And Oh…
To be in class with you…
Is making this the worst day of my life!

Pushed the door I’m home at last
What I learned I have no clue
And then I open up my books
And all I see is you
And now I wish that I had dropped this class
But what am I to do
THE FINAL”S NEARING…..

And I
want to thank you
For making this the worst day of my life….

And Oh..
To be in class with you…
Is making this the worst day of my life!

April 16, 2003

Sipping Vodka

Filed under: — 9.51 pm

Got this from a friend: Thanks Jimmy!

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”

So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don’t gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don’t say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me”

12. The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry,”

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

April 11, 2003

Global Calculus….

Filed under: — 8.59 pm

Well folks, it’s all over… (Research Symposium that is) and now I’m so exhausted I can hardly type… Funny, I don’t think it was the long hours, I think that it was the emotional stress… It was pretty draining, I must say.
Still, on the whole I was absolutely thrilled with how well it went. I got a good round of applause and some praise afterwards (not that I notice this stuff or anything…) more importantly, I was NOT crucified in the question and answer session. The only question was a very simple one that I found it very easy to answer with a little grace… ( Speaking of Grace, I watched a Will and Grace episode the other night where Grace had hair exactly like mine.. it was quite scary actually…) * Don’t mind me, my mind works in tangential mode quite often, particularly when I’m tired* ANYWAY!
More on this later…
I promise :)

April 09, 2003

Letter to my Social LIfe…

Filed under: — 11.11 pm

Having come to the point in my life when my email box is full of trash even more insipid than the cheap flyers from Kroger, I have decided that something must be done. I will start by trying to patch things with my social life…

Dear Social Life,
I realize that I’ve been treating you most unfairly. I wanted to apologize for that. I’ve been going through a very hard time in my life and taking all of my emotional trauma out on you. It was very unfair of me. I don’t know if I’m ready for a serious relationship right now, and I don’t want to be unfair to you, but if you’d give me a call sometime or write me an email, it would be nice. I’d like to keep in touch despite my own masochism.
It’s not you, it’s me…
No…
Really! I mean it!
~SC

April 08, 2003

A Whole New Post! (Fancy That!)

Filed under: — 10.26 pm

After many prayers and lectures, much tearful beseeching and idle threats, I have finally decided to succumb to Mullenweg’s demand and grace the online world with a “real post”…

A lot has happened since I left you hanging with a rant about my life… Among the most interesting developments are the fact that I currently have a French fan-club (who knew? see photomatt for details…) Nevena’s birthday party, which was on Saturday and was a tremendous success, even including a salsa number performed by Matt himself, my insane job which grows ever more insane, and, last but not least, the UNDERGRADUATE RESEARCH SYMPOSIUM!

For those of you who I have not ranted to yet (my sincere apologies if you do not belong to this group), this is a forum mainly for the presentation of senior theses. As a freshman, I got a bee in my bonnet and decided to present as well. As is usually the case, I’m a bundle of nerves and frantic typing as I try desperately to catch up.

It’s on Friday, and this is a formal invitation to all who’d care to attend…

3:30 pm, Crooker Center, Council of Clubs Room…

My topic is, “Global Calculus: An Analysis of the United States’ Diplomatic Policy Towards Israel and Palestine” and the presentation should run about 15 minutes…

Anyway, I hope you can all make it! I promise that when life slows down, I’ll post more!

April 07, 2003

Ummm… Mullenweg?

Filed under: — 10.53 pm

Matt thinks he’s sexy as a cartoon… click on the previous link to see it…
I’m not so sure, but hey…
:)

Anti Photoblog

Filed under: — 10.51 pm

Hey! The Antiphotoblogs are up!

March 31, 2003

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie…

Filed under: — 10.54 pm

Bush’s precious foreign policy

March 18, 2003

My Life as a Frenzied Workaholic…

Filed under: — 8.46 pm

38 hours a week—Work
15 hours a week—School
3 hours a week—Extra time in photo lab
30 hours a week—Recommended study time
56 hours a week—Recommended sleep time
1 hour a week—Church (sorry God)
7 hours a week—Getting ready to go out/for bed
7 hours a week—Eating
5 hours a week—Transportation time
1 hour a week—Cleaning
1 hour a week—Salsa Dancing Class
3 hours a week—Research for Symposium
1 hour a week—Writing for Newspaper
1 hour a week—Work on the Innocence Project
—————————————————–
TOTAL: 169 hours

Actual hours in week: 168

And that’s not counting stuff like posting on the internet, talking to friends, actually SHOOTING pictures for photography, watching movies…
Plus, stuff like transportation takes much more time than that…

Argh!

March 17, 2003

All Right! All Right! I’m Posting! I’m Posting!

Filed under: — 8.44 pm

Hey again, folks! Sorry for my prolonged silence. It isn’t that there hasn’t been anything to say, it’s just that there’s been no time to say it.

For the past 3.5 weeks, I’ve been working at a fantastic bakery in the Montrose area. For all you H-Town bloggers, this is the bakery that Matt plugged on HIS site. It’s called Kraftsmen and is located between the Montrose Library and the Black Lab. It’s got wireless internet, portals every few feet, great decor and even better food (and service ;) ). Anyway, this job, wonderful as it is, has pretty much incapacitated me in terms of internet activity. I work approximately 37 hours a week and at the same time am a full time student. Add to that all of my extra-curriculars—violin, Salsa dancing, writing for the school newspaper etc. etc. etc.—and internet is forced pretty far down on my list of priorities.

Anyway, that’s my explanation. I have been working on a couple of personality sketches, poems etc. (mainly when I’m supposed to be listening to my algebra teacher) and I will post them as soon as I finish them.

Until then, happy posting to all of you :)

March 08, 2003

Bringin’ Down The House

Filed under: — 11.08 pm

Went out with the girls tonight! Nevena, Laila, Tsveta and me… Great time…

We started out at Thai Cottage, which has great food at a reasonable price and has the added benefit of being two minutes away from the cinema… (If you know me, you know that no evening is complete without my movie :) )This benefit was somewhat diminished by the little note stuck in the back of every menu which politely informed us that should we leave, it was recommended that we take our cars with us, lest someone else move them for us… We took the hint…

Unfortunately, we had already used all of our cash paying for the meal, so after attempting to pay for parking with a credit card (!!!) we drove around until we found a little neighborhood with no tow away signs… Very good find! People must have thought we were insane though… Tearing across the street at 8:20 in an attempt to make an 8:15 movie… Hair flying…Poor Nevena trying to negotiate a combination of high-heels and our fast pace…We must have been a sight!

Anyway, we finally made it into the theatre just as the show started. There were no seats except for the front row… And I mean the Very front row… The one where you’d have to be lying down to see the screen, and even then you wouldn’t see it properly…

We opted for sitting on the stairs… Man we had fun!
The movie was really funny…But I think that it was our situation that made the evening so enjoyable…

What a nice break I’ve had!

Spring Break

Filed under: — 8.59 am

Well, the core of Spring Break has passed me by, and now it’s just a regular old weekend. Not only that, but I’m working about ten hours, so it doesn’t look like all of that studying I was planning to catch up on is going to get done. I didn’t follow my less studious resolution to watch all of the Oscar nominees either, but oddly enough I don’t care.

I have been rereading my old entries and it struck me that a good half of them revolve around old memories. I live so much in a yesterday–real or imagined–that sometimes I wonder where I find time to create the yesterdays that I remember so fondly.

This week has been one of those times. I’ve spent more time with my near and dear than I have since “Winter Term” ended, and my sometime “tenants” moved out. It was good to see Matt and Josh again. It was good to talk to Iram. It was good to finally have the time to sit idly in a café shooting the breeze with Nevena. Even work was good.

But now it’s over, or nearly over, and I revert to my dreamed up reality, as I stick my nose back in my books…

March 07, 2003

Weblogs.com

Filed under: — 10.47 am

Ahhh! Technology comes to SarahC!
I finally figured out the purpose of Weblogs.com.
I am currently experimenting, to see if my place on the list really does go up when I post… So forgive the mundane entry, I’ll probably delete it later.

The Ring

Filed under: — 4.53 am

Why, oh Why, did I watch that movie!
Oh my god! I haven’t been this scared since the story of Bloody Mary in the fourth grade… And I’m home alone..
Lord… I’m off to make a long distance phone call…
I’m literally shaking right now.
This is ridiculous. Remind me that I don’t do horror movies.

March 06, 2003

PrankCalls

Filed under: — 12.47 am

11:35 pm
Phone Rings…
Sarah: Hello?
Anonymous Prank Caller: Silence
Sarah: Hangs up

11:37pm
Phone Rings…
Sarah: HELLO?
Anonymous Prank Caller: Heavy Breathing
Sarah:Hangs up

11:42pm
Phone Rings
Josh: Hello, I’d like to order an extra large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, please, Thank you.
Hangs up…

YAY JOSH!!!!
The guy didn’t call back after that… I think we scared him off :)

March 05, 2003

Movies

Filed under: — 12.55 pm

Well, last night I hung out with Pinky and the Brain and watched Chasing Amy…But this was only after going to see the Recruit with the boys and Nevena….And this was only after going to Stucchi’s for Ice Cream with Nevena and Tsveta… And this was only after posting all day….(btw.. thank you to everyone bored enough to actually read my last two posts…) And that was only after watching Dogma and discussing Dogma all night…. whew….

Incidentally… Aside from the Pinky and the Brain crack… (which had me rolling) Josh is convinced that Hell will be like waking up in the Wizard of Oz (“and you, and you, and you, and you, and you were there…”) he says that most of the “interesting people” he knows will be keeping him company… I don’t know whether he’s saying I’m not interesting or that I’m going to hell…. Either way….
Geez…

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